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No End Insight | June 26, 2008 | The last Weltschmerz. A horny dilemma for Horst. I'm a fan of ambiguous, European-movie endings. | |
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No Show, No Tell | June 19, 2008 | Horst meets with his cyberlover and discovers she is his ex girlfriend's girlfriend. | |
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Subtext | June 12, 2008 | Horst gets a reality check from Cosmo and his new girlfriend Pangaea: What does his closet lesbianism mean? | |
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Closet Guy | June 6, 2008 | A conversation between two lesbians online. Or are they? One could be an obese, acne-scarred John McCain-voting redneck. Or one could be Horst. | |
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|  Healing Process | May 29, 2008 | Horst is frequenting Planet Lesbos, pretending to be a lesbian. Is he really over Celia? | |
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|  Twin Peaks | May 22, 2008 | The 100-Litre Diet - Day 27: Welcome to Cosmo's own private world food crisis. Is his hunger accentuating a rare offline sexual encounter? | |
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|  Tanked | May 15, 2008 | Cosmo goes on a date with the luddite girl he met at a demonstration. | |
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|  Sideways | April 17, 2008 | Cosmo has the hots for the luddite girl he met at a Kyoto Now demo. But he never dates offline -- and she's never used a mouse. Is there any hope, or is this Romeo and Juliette across a digital divide? | |
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|  Double or Nothing | February 28, 2008 | A conversation about sex and jealousy over Raj's comatose body. | |
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|  Baggage | February 21, 2008 | Horst goes for a walk in the snow with Celia sitting on his shoulders. | |
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|  Phantom Wife Syndrome | February 14, 2008 | "If I lose a leg to an IED, do I say "ex-leg?" No, it's still my leg, even though it's been shredded. So why do we say ex-wife?" Horst has a too-close encounter with another sufferer of PWS. | |
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|  Attention Insomniacs! | February 7, 2008 | Horst joins the Insomniacs with Phantom Girlfriend Syndrome Facebook group -- the offline edition. The solution to his problems? Shop till you drop. | |
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|  Disputing the Benefits | January 24, 2008 | As Celia leaves to spend another evening supporting Donya at the hospital, Cindy wonders if she has a lover or a bit part in Rendition. | |
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|  Upgrade Issues | January 17, 2008 | Horst and Cosmo meet to co-grok the new Mac OS. Do geek bonds go deeper? | |
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|  Intelligence | January 10, 2008 | At a fund-raising party for the comatose Raj Malick, Horst asks Frank if he thinks Celia might be having an affair with Donya. | |
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|  Visiting Hours | January 3, 2008 | Horst visits the comatose Raj in the hospital -- and is himself visited. | |
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|  One Man's Tragedy | November 22, 2007 | Celia calls to tell Horst that Raj is on a flight from Afghanistan. But he's in a coma. Franks sees this crisis as an opportunity for Horst to patch things up with Celia. | |
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|  Meet the Fan Base | October 18, 2007 | Cindy's fans have weighed in on her new girlfriend, Celia. But Celia isn't too sure whether she can handle a relationship with a 20,001 "uniques." | |
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|  GOP 2.0 | September 13, 2007 | Celia is visiting her long-time friend Cindy, dissecting her defunct relationship with Horst, when the plot twists. | |
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|  Porn Flakes | September 6, 2007 | Horst is now shacking up with Frank, who proves to be a less-than-ideal roommate: Messages are not passed on, and porn is running during breakfast. | |
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|  Four-letter Mind | August 30, 2007 | Horst is in hiding from BioDredge, the makers of Gaiagra, who don't take too kindly when one of their patients decides the drug is not for him. | |
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|  Through a Glass, Darkly | June 21, 2007 | "Girls don't go for guys unable to see the glass half full." So says Horst's doctor, who wants to prescribe him a new drug that relieves despair caused by environmental crises. | |
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|  Auto-reply | June 14, 2007 | Facebook brings spam by "friends" to a new level. Call it "spal." | |
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|  Emotional Property Rights | June 7, 2007 | Horst's new status of "dumpee" has gone viral via Facebook. For Cosmo, this is a good thing: "You get it all over with in a nano-second!" | |
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|  Facebooklash | May 31, 2007 | Horst uses Facebook to announce to his "friends" that Celia has dumped him. His friends tell their friends... | |
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|  All's Fair in Love and War | May 3, 2007 | Somewhere in a CIA prison, Raj is told his wife Donya is sleeping with a women. Spy photos seem to bare this out. Is this another lies-from-home interrogation tactic? | |
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|  Triggers | April 26, 2007 | Celia's chance meeting with Horst triggers a rant on the effects of plastic water bottles on humans. | |
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|  End of the World | March 22, 2007 | Horst and Celia's relationship is a casualty of global warming that Al Gore forgot to mention. Horst breaks the news to Frank. | |
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|  Hangnails | March 15, 2007 | The support group for wives of detainees ask Celia about her breakup with Horst. She feels like a hangnail sufferer in a room full of amputees. | |
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|  Support Group | March 8, 2007 | In a support group for wives of the detained, Celia is asked where her man is being held. | |
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|  War Measures | February 15, 2007 | Horst and Celia's battle over the thermostat reaches its climax. Horst wins the battle -- but does he lose the war? | |
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|  Thermostat War | February 1, 2007 | Global warming hits home -- Horst and Celia's home, where the temperature setting is the trigger for all-out thermo war. Will their relationship survive the fallout? | |
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|  Toxic Thought Balloon | January 25, 2007 | Horst's thoughts of the prime minister straddling an exhaust pipe are keeping him awake. Celia's sleep is also disturbed by the mother of all thought balloons. | |
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|  MP3 Levels | January 4, 2007 | Is Horst ranting in his sleep or does he have a terminal case of insomnia? | |
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|  Tending Your Eunich | December 28, 2006 | Horst is worried that Celia has developed a self-help addiction. But when he tries to talk to her friend Cindy about it, he gets an ice-cold shoulder. | |
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|  Desperate Architects | December 21, 2006 | Celia is desperately seeking a self-help book for architects plagued by guilt at destroying historic buildings that provide studio space for artists. | |
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|  Emission Targets | October 26, 2006 | Stress causes low sperm count -- but Horst remains convinced that, despite his long hours at work, one or two of his sperm may survive to complete their mission. | |
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|  Stud Finder | July 27, 2006 | Now that Horst is no longer a breeder, Celia fantasizes about finding a new stud. | |
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|  Underworldwear | July 20, 2006 | Was Horst's sperm killed by tight jockey shorts? Or was it the broccoli? Or the laptop? The mystery thickens. | |
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|  Spermicide | July 13, 2006 | Horst's sperm cells are dead. Is it murder? Weltschmerz goes film noir. | |
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|  Cave Paintings | July 6, 2006 | Horst tries to produce a sperm sample to see why he and Celia can't conceive. He finds the sample-producing aids less than satisfactory. | |
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|  Sporn | May 11, 2006 | Frank has the solution to help Horst in conceiving a child: Porn. | |
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|  At First Site | April 13, 2006 | Cosmo introduces Horst to his main cyber-squeeze. | |
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|  Wooden | February 16, 2006 | Stephen Harper's rise to power causes Horst's fall into impotency.
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|  Advance Vote | January 26, 2006 | Celia and Horst escape the last moments of the Canadian election by fleeing to Cuba.
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|  Babysitting | April 21, 2005 | Celia wants Horst to join her babysitting Donya and Raj's kids as a dry run on parenthood. But Horst has Arcade Fire tickets. Another classic relationship moment. | |
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|  Challenges | February 24, 2005 | Is Max committed to Kyoto - or does he just have a thing for Rick Mercer? Max, Horst and Celia discuss Kyoto, having babies, ranting about having babies and the Geneva Convention. | |
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|  Shrimp | January 20, 2005 | A romantic night out turns into an environmental diatribe. Moral: Don't eat shrimp. (And don't eat with Horst.) | |
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|  Greatest Friend | November 25, 2004 | Will Horst be ranked Frank's Greatest Friend? Does he have what it takes? YOU decide! | |
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|  Casanova | November 4, 2004 | Revealed: How Horst and Celia met. | |
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|  Sexual Cooling | October 28, 2004 | Horst has ecological disaster on his mind. Does global warming have to create sexual cooling? | |
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|  Life Sucks | October 24, 1996 | An early glimpse at the manic-depressive relationship of Horst and Celia. | |
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