Filter by date:



Filter by character:



Filter by topic:


No End Insight | June 26, 2008 | The last Weltschmerz. A horny dilemma for Horst. I'm a fan of ambiguous, European-movie endings.
Snow Is a Four Letter Word | April 3, 2008 | Will winter never end? Frank is disappointed that despite all his efforts to create climate change, there are still snow drifts in front of his house.
Intelligence | January 10, 2008 | At a fund-raising party for the comatose Raj Malick, Horst asks Frank if he thinks Celia might be having an affair with Donya.
Ghosts of Christmas Future | December 20, 2007 | Canada's environment minister John Baird takes a hard line at the UN Climate Conference in Bali -- insisting that using babies as fuel will radically reduce their lifetime emissions (because their lifetimes will be radically reduced).
One Man's Tragedy | November 22, 2007 | Celia calls to tell Horst that Raj is on a flight from Afghanistan. But he's in a coma. Franks sees this crisis as an opportunity for Horst to patch things up with Celia.
How You Play the Game | October 4, 2007 | Over drinks, Frank tries to convince Horst of the merits of the first-past-the-post electoral system. Who will be the last man standing?
Porn Flakes | September 6, 2007 | Horst is now shacking up with Frank, who proves to be a less-than-ideal roommate: Messages are not passed on, and porn is running during breakfast.
Four-letter Mind | August 30, 2007 | Horst is in hiding from BioDredge, the makers of Gaiagra, who don't take too kindly when one of their patients decides the drug is not for him.
Compatibility Issues | May 24, 2007 | Frank offers Horst an antidote to his breakup blues: the largest HD porn collection in Canada.
End of the World | March 22, 2007 | Horst and Celia's relationship is a casualty of global warming that Al Gore forgot to mention. Horst breaks the news to Frank.
15 Minutes | January 18, 2007 | Frank has converted: He has donated his SUV to the museum's dinosaur gallery and now drives a Prius.
Kingmaker | November 23, 2006 | Has Frank joined the support group for failed Liberal Leadership Candidates?
Global Facelessness | October 5, 2006 | "Facetime is hindering our ability to compete in the global facelessness" -- Frank Bower, Liberal Leadership Contender, in a debate with Michael Ignatieff and Bob Rae.
Facetime | September 28, 2006 | Frank's new policy for the Liberal leadership race is to ban unproductive socializing.
Tuvalu | June 29, 2006 | Frank deals with global warming and the war on terror in one fell swoop - and gets reprimanded by Stephen Harper for creating competition.
Press Conference | June 15 2006 | Frank has to defend donations from frozen, unfertilized eggs - and is asked how his background in the porn industry will equip him for government.
Dark Horse | June 8, 2006 | Frank announces his candidacy for the Liberal party. Horst wonders how a unilingual, day-trading, web porn-peddling ex-Tory like him can win Liberal hearts and minds.
Sporn | May 11, 2006 | Frank has the solution to help Horst in conceiving a child: Porn.
Sightings | December 22, 2005 | Environmentalist David Susuki warns that global warming will cause Santa's extinction.
Warm'n'Fuzzy | September 22, 2005 | For Frank, gas prices can't go high enough.
Intelligent Shoes | May 5, 2005 | Frank shows off his new $350 computerized shoes.
Second SUV | March 3, 2005 | Horst laments to Frank that he will never make the "One-Tonne Challenge.
Bodies | January 13, 2005 | Frank is giving a week's profit from his porn site to tsunami relief. Jerk off for Unicef.
Stress | December 23, 2004 | Frank is late for his stress management seminar. And to top it off, the pressuer is on to breed. Are there perks to parenthood? Horst is looking for them.
Extreme Makeover | December 2, 2004 | Frank and Horst debate whether Reality TV's inroads into all aspects of culture is worth applauding.
Greatest Friend | November 25, 2004 | Will Horst be ranked Frank's Greatest Friend? Does he have what it takes? YOU decide!
Death Sub | October 21, 2004 | Horst doesn't believe an electrical fire in a sub should drown out all other news. Frank feels it should be, since Chr├ętien spent public money on golf balls instead of safe military equipment.
Sunscreen | June 19, 1997 | Horst: "I am your friend, Frank. I will not stand idly by while you sacrifice your golden years for a good tan." A rant on the dangers of UV.
Bungee RRSPs | February 20, 1997 | Frank invites Horst to go heli-bungee snowboarding wih him. And the extreme games have beguns.
Happy New Cuts | January 9, 1997 | Reluctant to see last year regurgitated as series of Best 10 lists and tossed aside, Horst wants to recycle the old years before jump-starting the future.
Aisle 703: John Grisham Novels | December 19, 1996 | How do you choose between an infinity of gift ideas, each equally unique?
Life-Stylers | December 12, 1996 | Horst discovers you can't leave Life-Mart. Horst is stuck in Life-Mart, sentenced to a life-time of Christmas shopping. But luckily he meets Frank, who assures him that it's all a marketing ploy. Escape is possible.