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No End Insight | June 26, 2008 | The last Weltschmerz. A horny dilemma for Horst. I'm a fan of ambiguous, European-movie endings. | |
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|  Snow Is a Four Letter Word | April 3, 2008 | Will winter never end? Frank is disappointed that despite all his efforts to create climate change, there are still snow drifts in front of his house. | |
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|  Intelligence | January 10, 2008 | At a fund-raising party for the comatose Raj Malick, Horst asks Frank if he thinks Celia might be having an affair with Donya. | |
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|  Ghosts of Christmas Future | December 20, 2007 | Canada's environment minister John Baird takes a hard line at the UN Climate Conference in Bali -- insisting that using babies as fuel will radically reduce their lifetime emissions (because their lifetimes will be radically reduced). | |
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|  One Man's Tragedy | November 22, 2007 | Celia calls to tell Horst that Raj is on a flight from Afghanistan. But he's in a coma. Franks sees this crisis as an opportunity for Horst to patch things up with Celia. | |
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|  How You Play the Game | October 4, 2007 | Over drinks, Frank tries to convince Horst of the merits of the first-past-the-post electoral system. Who will be the last man standing? | |
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|  Porn Flakes | September 6, 2007 | Horst is now shacking up with Frank, who proves to be a less-than-ideal roommate: Messages are not passed on, and porn is running during breakfast. | |
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|  Four-letter Mind | August 30, 2007 | Horst is in hiding from BioDredge, the makers of Gaiagra, who don't take too kindly when one of their patients decides the drug is not for him. | |
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|  Compatibility Issues | May 24, 2007 | Frank offers Horst an antidote to his breakup blues: the largest HD porn collection in Canada. | |
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|  End of the World | March 22, 2007 | Horst and Celia's relationship is a casualty of global warming that Al Gore forgot to mention. Horst breaks the news to Frank. | |
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|  15 Minutes | January 18, 2007 | Frank has converted: He has donated his SUV to the museum's dinosaur gallery and now drives a Prius. | |
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|  Kingmaker | November 23, 2006 | Has Frank joined the support group for failed Liberal Leadership Candidates? | |
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|  Global Facelessness | October 5, 2006 | "Facetime is hindering our ability to compete in the global facelessness" -- Frank Bower, Liberal Leadership Contender, in a debate with Michael Ignatieff and Bob Rae. | |
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|  Facetime | September 28, 2006 | Frank's new policy for the Liberal leadership race is to ban unproductive socializing. | |
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|  Tuvalu | June 29, 2006 | Frank deals with global warming and the war on terror in one fell swoop - and gets reprimanded by Stephen Harper for creating competition. | |
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|  Press Conference | June 15 2006 | Frank has to defend donations from frozen, unfertilized eggs - and is asked how his background in the porn industry will equip him for government. | |
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|  Dark Horse | June 8, 2006 | Frank announces his candidacy for the Liberal party. Horst wonders how a unilingual, day-trading, web porn-peddling ex-Tory like him can win Liberal hearts and minds. | |
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|  Sporn | May 11, 2006 | Frank has the solution to help Horst in conceiving a child: Porn. | |
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|  Sightings | December 22, 2005 | Environmentalist David Susuki warns that global warming will cause Santa's extinction.
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|  Warm'n'Fuzzy | September 22, 2005 | For Frank, gas prices can't go high enough. | |
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|  Intelligent Shoes | May 5, 2005 | Frank shows off his new $350 computerized shoes. | |
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|  Second SUV | March 3, 2005 | Horst laments to Frank that he will never make the "One-Tonne Challenge. | |
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|  Bodies | January 13, 2005 | Frank is giving a week's profit from his porn site to tsunami relief. Jerk off for Unicef. | |
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|  Stress | December 23, 2004 | Frank is late for his stress management seminar. And to top it off, the pressuer is on to breed. Are there perks to parenthood? Horst is looking for them. | |
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|  Extreme Makeover | December 2, 2004 | Frank and Horst debate whether Reality TV's inroads into all aspects of culture is worth applauding. | |
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|  Greatest Friend | November 25, 2004 | Will Horst be ranked Frank's Greatest Friend? Does he have what it takes? YOU decide! | |
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|  Death Sub | October 21, 2004 | Horst doesn't believe an electrical fire in a sub should drown out all other news. Frank feels it should be, since Chrétien spent public money on golf balls instead of safe military equipment. | |
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|  Sunscreen | June 19, 1997 | Horst: "I am your friend, Frank. I will not stand idly by while you sacrifice your golden years for a good tan." A rant on the dangers of UV. | |
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|  Bungee RRSPs | February 20, 1997 | Frank invites Horst to go heli-bungee snowboarding wih him. And the extreme games have beguns. | |
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|  Happy New Cuts | January 9, 1997 | Reluctant to see last year regurgitated as series of Best 10 lists and tossed aside, Horst wants to recycle the old years before jump-starting the future. | |
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|  Aisle 703: John Grisham Novels | December 19, 1996 | How do you choose between an infinity of gift ideas, each equally unique? | |
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|  Life-Stylers | December 12, 1996 | Horst discovers you can't leave Life-Mart. Horst is stuck in Life-Mart, sentenced to a life-time of Christmas shopping. But luckily he meets Frank, who assures him that it's all a marketing ploy. Escape is possible. | |
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