The inspiration for this cartoon comes from a Salon article about the latest Oprah-powered publishing sensation, The Secret. This article acidly dissects the tenuous premise behind the book: Ask and you shall receive. World poverty? Just a matter of people not thinking positive thoughts. But this article says it better:

The main idea of "The Secret" is that people need only visualize what they want in order to get it -- and the book certainly has created instant wealth, at least for Rhonda Byrne and her partners-in-con. And the marketing idea behind it -- the enlisting of that dream team, in what is essentially a massive, cross-promotional pyramid scheme -- is brilliant. But what really makes "The Secret" more than a variation on an old theme is the involvement of Oprah Winfrey, who lends the whole enterprise more prestige, and, because of that prestige, more venality, than any previous self-help scam. Oprah hasn't just endorsed "The Secret"; she's championed it, put herself at the apex of its pyramid, and helped create a symbiotic economy of New Age quacks that almost puts OPEC to shame.

Why "venality"? Because, with survivors of Auschwitz still alive, Oprah writes this about "The Secret" on her Web site, "the energy you put into the world -- both good and bad -- is exactly what comes back to you. This means you create the circumstances of your life with the choices you make every day." "Venality," because Oprah, in the age of AIDS, is advertising a book that says, "You cannot 'catch' anything unless you think you can, and thinking you can is inviting it to you with your thought." "Venality," because Oprah, from a studio within walking distance of Chicago's notorious Cabrini Green Projects, pitches a book that says, "The only reason any person does not have enough money is because they are blocking money from coming to them with their thoughts."

If you want to make the author, Rhonda Byrne (caricatured in my cartoon) and her friends rich, you can attend this weekend's event, which features a gaggle of preachers who are in on The Secret. Then, once you get The Secret, you yourself can start preaching, earn gobs of money and -- voila! -- the power of the "law of attraction" is proven.

I wouldn't even bother satirizing such an obvious fraud, but the book is selling almost as many copies as Harry Potter. At least Harry Potter is well-written and doesn't pretend its magic will make you wealthy. But, as Celia says, quantum physics is mentioned in the book. So it's actually scientific, right?

Oh, and in case you're wondering, a gluon is one of those pesky subatomic particles -- a so-called "strong force" that help bind protons and neutrons together (or pull you out of poverty if you think hard enough). Check the Wikipedia entry for more. (The reading I did when I was a softcore physics geek has left but retinal afterimages in my consciousness. I do remember that the names were cool.)

10 Years Ago This Week: April 10, 1997
Horst's tongue-twisting last name has given me some fodder for wordplay. In this cartoon, after 12 hours of waiting for treatment in the Casino Hospital, Horst is awoken by someone calling, "Horst Wormmelts? Horst Welshmarts?" Sometimes I wonder if this cartoon would be more successful if it had a title more compatible with the English language.

Retailers for Attack of the Same-Sex Sleeper Cells:

Toronto:
Pages, 256 Queen Street West (at John).
The Beguiling, 601 Markham Street (near Bloor and Bathurst)
Book City, two locations - 348 Danforth Ave., 663 Yonge St.
Hairy Tarantula, 354 Yonge Street (near Dundas).

Guelph:
The Bookshelf, 41 Quebec Street.
Macondo Books, 18 Wilson Street

Waterloo: Words Worth Books, 100 King Street South

Kitchener: KW Bookstore, 308 King Street West

Hamilton: Bryan Prince Bookseller, 1060 King Street West